So, I was walking around minding my own business when I came across a couple of dumbasses discussing Bollywood. Worse still, they were discussing how Arjun Rampal is a bad actor and doesn't deserve a place in the film industry. It took me all of 2 seconds to take out my Ninja-sword and cut their stupid heads off.
Okay. So I kinda made the last part up. But still I didn't agree with them on that point. Calling Arjun Rampal just a 'bad-actor' is like calling Himmesshh Reshhammmiyyyaa (seriously don't know the spelling - don't care too google) a bad singer. Its just not enough! Bad actors are people like Sunil Shetty and Aftab Shivdasani and they'd rather get hung by their balls over a raging volcano than be compared to Arjun Rampal. He's right up there with the likes of Tusshar Kapoor and Chunkey Pandey.
Here's a small list of 5 of the most forgettable movies of our era (with the story-line in case you missed any)
Pyar Ishq Aur Mohabbat
Three men, one woman. Constant confusion. Tempers flaring, emotions flowing like old men with diarrhea on an overdose of laxatives! And for some reason I am in love with the name of the movie.
Dil Hai Tumahara
Two sisters in love with the same guy. Put in an evil step-mother and some corrupt politician and we have the most original plot ever! The best part - no matter what happens, Rampal ends up with one girl or the other.
Dil Ka Rishta
Rich dude falls for a married chick. Husband dies, chick has amnesia and falls for our dude! Damn! Is that touching or what? Most original story in the history of movies :D
Elaan
An international extortionist, 5 people decide to take him down due to reasons beyond my understanding. Conspiracy in Italy. But our hero prevails in the end! Poor action, no story line and no sense whatsoever! Perfect movie for a first date scenario.
I See You
Guy falls for a ghost who is actually in a comma. Gets her out of the comma and they live happily ever after! Some say its inspired by 'Just Like Heaven'. But that's just rumors which were started by the director of Just Like Heaven to get some attention.
Damn! All that shit took some research. Anyways, after watching all these movies I went ahead to interview the great man himself(I was getting bored. so ....)
Here's the transcript:
Me: Thank you for taking out time for talking with-
AR: Dude are you kidding? Don't you know how utterly jobless I am?
Me: Oh sorry. So everyone wants to know- Why are you so fucking lame?
AR:*giggles*
Me: Answer me bitch!
AR: Er.. no comment.
Me: Some critics have labeled you a ''fucking moron''. What do you say to that?
AR: There are no grounds for this accusation. I maintain that I'm not a fucking-
Me: What about the list of movies mentioned above?
AR: Oh shit! I guess you are right.
Me: Why the fuck did you fuck up a perfectly good movie like Don?
AR : What are you talking about? Don was a fantastic movie!
Me: It was good until you showed up and fucked it all up.
AR: Yeah! I guess a drunken monkey with an overdose of Valium can act better than me.
Me: What about you and Rohit Bal?
AR: Man I swear to God we're just friends!
Me: Good friends?
AR: You know. Just a couple of guys who like showering together.
Me: Man you suck.
AR: ha ha-
Me: No dude seriously. You suck.
AR: *sobbing*You could've said it with a smile.
Me: I'm bored of talking to you bitch. Go away.
AR: It was a pleasure. *offers a handshake* We should do it again sometime.
Me: *Ignoring the hand* How about we don't?
AR: Err.. as you wish. :(
