Bullshit Review - Taare Zameen Par

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Before I begin with the mindblowing review of the mind-numbingly dull movie here's a quick word- I am NOT doing the best of 2007 like every other person on this god forsaken website. I mean seriously, apart from 'Bathroom Singer' there was nothing good about 2007.


So, Taare Zameen Par is a movie about a dyslexic child with huge teeth who can't do shit right(literally as well as figuratively). The movie proves that Aamir Khan is a paedophile as most of the shots revolve around the child bathing or taking a crap. The camera usually pans on and around the gigantic teeth of the kid and makes you realize how Steven Spielberg got the idea for the T-rex's jaw in Jurassic Park.

The first half of the movie does a great job in putting you to sleep or make good use of the time if you happen to be with your gay partner. Just when you think that all is lost- In walks Aamir Khan, an out of work pornstar who's stooped low enough to become a substitute teacher. Keeping in tone of the movie- Aamir Khan is also a retard and has erectile dysfunction(as revealed in a subtle way by the cameraman).

The second half of the movie shows how Aamir Khan and the kid help each other out with their respective problems. I fell asleep three times during the film and still didn't miss too much. The end of the movie is quite heart warming as Aamir Khan paints a Titanic style portrait of the boy and they make raw animal love in public(Your nearby theatres might edit this part). The movie is groundbreaking as it is filled with gay and paedophilia innuendos.

There's a guest appearance by Micheal Jackson who plays the fairy godmother to the child as the kid's father(played by Anil Ambani or his body double) is too busy in kissing the elder brother's ass. Rumour has it that MJ didn't ask for any monetary compensation for the part, instead he chose to stay on the sets with the children along with Aamir after the pack-ups.

There are (or seem to be) more than 34 songs in the film and they all help in the film's purpose of putting you to sleep. So, if any of you idiots haven't managed to see this travesty as yet - DON'T. Also, this film is a great reminder on why you all should listen to me and support piracy.


Update - This post was neither funny nor enlightening, but guess what, I don't care what you think. The movie was okay and is a tad overrated. And I hate the fact that it's become the 'in thing' to love this movie.