I guess I have been rather unfair in just publishing my hate-filled opinions towards shit I come across and never actually appreciating the beauty there is in this world.
So without further ado, I request the 2010 Academy Awards (and every other award ceremony around the world) to be cancelled ‘cause I got your winner right here:
Here are some of the salient features of this carnage:
- Nazis
- Zombies
- Nazi-Zombies
- 20 thousand gallons of blood
- Self Amputation
- Chainsaws
- Multiple modes of usage of the Human intestines
- Decapitation
- Overdose of general goriness.
Holy shit! All this movie needs is some lesbians and aliens to make it perfect. But let’s not get into the imperfections. In a world where kick-ass creatures like vampires and werewolves have been reduced to shit-faced romantic douchebags who talk about their feelings and are entangled in love triangles, this movie is a beacon of hope.
The movie starts out with this chick who is being chased by some badass zombie who gets the better of her, then it all shifts to a bunch of ‘happy go lucky’ medical students who keep talking about shit for what seems like hours and you think you're in the wrong movie because already there's way too much dialogue/plot building or whatever you call it. That's where the genius of the director comes in: he made it like this on purpose so you'll have time to adjust your face before it's rocked off. Almost immediately after that there's a sex scene which sucks because there's a fat guy in it and you have to state loudly that you think it's "gay" or something along those lines so nobody will question your sexuality.
They eventually get visited by some dude with a badass stubble; before he even says anything, you automatically know he listens to Pantera. The lead actors, on the other hand, look like they drink Bacardi Breezers and go shopping for purses. Anyway, the Pantera guy warns them about zombies and surprisingly they make fun of him.
Then it's onto the zombies-
If we all work together, anything is possible. A message for kids by the visionary director
Yes it's been done, the ultimate super villains have been created. Not only are the bad guys blood-thirsty undead evil veterans from the 2nd world war. The zombies in this movie are the super evolution of the walking dead. Forget the wuss-burger zombies in "28 Days Later" and other shitty zombie movies that move slower than the Delhi traffic and eventually die on their own, these zombies are the real deal.
You think I was kidding about the intestines?
First of all, these zombies are fast. Imagine the fastest Olympic runner you've ever seen, now double that speed and pretend the zombies aren't Kenyan.That's how fast these zombies move, which sucks if you're a human because you get your balls stomped on by an army of undead ball stompers if you trip and then they eat you. And second these are military trained experts in hand to hand combat and use of all weapons.
Our hero fighting off a zombie while testing the tensile strength of the zombie intestine.
And to make shit worse, these are NAZI ZOMBIES so you know that they mean business, the director does not waste any time on storytelling or the film school inspired ‘symbolism’ or ‘character driven plots’. All the zombie actors were awesome and deserve best supporting actor awards for their inspired acting work. Think you can get that kind of attitude with ordinary extras? Yeah right. These are thespians; they're pros at what they do. Just sit back and admire their art.
I believe this is the best shit to come out ever since 'Army of Darkness' and will create movie history. Now you’re probably thinking, “if this movie is so awesome, then why haven’t I heard of it? LOL”
The answer is simple, A. Your head is in your ass. And B. It’s a German movie. But you don’t even need the subtitles since violence is worth a thousand words. Watch it or die.
