Friday, October 28, 2011

The day that never came

Right. So I have been out of action for long enough to not remember what its like to write a 300 word article which offends at least half of the people who read it. A lot of shit has gone down since the last time I wrote, Obama became the first black president, Osama on the other hand, got his shit handed to him. India was terrorized more times than I care to count. The whole Anna Hazare thing led to a 10 million man march online (of course). One open letter by a racist, PMS-ing, insufficiently laid woman almost caused a war on the internet. But the top of my list has to be when all the chicks on Facebook suddenly decided to put an end to the question 'which is the dumber sex?' once and for all by putting up their bra colors as their status messages. Good work ladies, all of us are totally aware of breast cancer now - along with your color preferences.

There was also a time when I briefly developed a certain level of respect of Shahrukh Khan for his candid interviews or perhaps because there was no new movie coming out to piss me off. All that changed 6 months ago when he decided that the only way to create hype about a movie is by shoving it down people's throats. But enough jokes have been cracked about Ra.One and whatever I have to say has probably been said before. Much like this movie.

What has really pissed me off enough to write again is the Metallica's lack of fuck-giving for India (Or fans in general). Now, I am one of the 25000 odd people staring blankly at screens just to confirm the inevitable cancellation of the Metallica concert. Most of the people who weren't there are still wondering - what went wrong? And the media is feeding them the usual stereotypical Delhi/Haryana rowdy crowd routine. Its DNA's fault. Simple as that. And partly Metallica's to not even showing up and having the fucking decency to apologize for the crowd - a good 60 percent of which has been at the venue for more than 6 hours forced to buy overpriced cigarettes (which were banned according to the ticket) and shitty Fasttrax burgers and cola - All this with not a single stall selling bottled water.

Metallica - Seen here not giving a fuck.

There was more security for Omar Abdullah's 2 children present at the venue than the whole jam-packed ground. And that is not an exaggeration. So you take a ground full of enthusiastic people, some of whom have been virtually waiting their whole life for an opportunity to see their favorite band perform, you make them wait with no real announcements except for 'take two steps back while we magically transform the cardboard strength barricade into adamantium'. Piss them off even more by threatening them that there'll be no concert on the next day either and then expect the crowd to be chilled out by the end of it?

I would love to find out one country where a crowd of 15000 metal fans (not counting the 10000 who confused the gig for a Mika night/Anna Hazare protests/just another chance for some good old groping) are treated with such disdain with no angry response from the crowd. Not many care for their money back. We've all downloaded more than Rs 2750 worth of Metallica music alone anyway. But how fucking ironical it is for a Bangalore company to completely fuck up, not apologize about fucking up and Delhi crowd being blamed at the end of day for feeling wronged. The only thing I blame the Delhi crowd for is for being the tamest group of Metal fans in the history of the world (Fans are supposed to be bashing each other up in mosh pits when happy; one can only imagine the extent of damage when we're enraged). Lets face it, Delhi has more than its share of wannabes and intellectually-challenged-testosterone-laden-'Being human T shirt'-wearing-misogynists, but they weren't the crowd at the concert.

Lets end this with a joke then,

Q: What do you call thousands of people with nothing to do on a Friday night except for updating their Facebook statuses about how Metallica fans have nothing to do?

A: Cunts

PS - The news reports are fucking biased - the angry 'mob' was no more than 25 people out of the 25000 present at the ground. A mere 0.1 percent. Youtube it.